I run back to your door, a gleaming smile on my face.
Looking back at my friends I see they’re waiting for me a ways away.
I give them a small nod then turn back to the door, it’s light pink with little ridges that make it hurt when you knock... So I look around for a doorbell.
”Where’s the door bell?” I ask the flower patch next to the welcome mat.
With no reply I hesitantly knock on the door
”Hello? Are you home?” I call as I hold my hand and rub the ridges from the door out of it.
I glance down at the doorknob... a small ball of panic forming in my throat...
Looking back at my friends again, I give them a nervous smile then turn back.
Slowly I wrap my fingers around the doorknob and twist it... It’s unlocked so I let myself in and through with dragging  steps...
I close the door behind me and look around, nothing is different then the last time I was here.
The candles on the shelf's still unlit and the hall still scented of old peppermint and mildew...
“Hello?” I call again... no answer...
I imagine my friends may be worried outside... if there concerns overwhelm them then they will come inside and see what the matter is.
I close my eyes and listen for a sound... any sound... any sign that someone’s home.
The lump of panic in my throat grows thicker as the vibration of breathing catches my ear.
My brows furrow as I step farther into the house, I can feel my heart speed picking up. I look around the corner...
“Oh...” There you are...

And there you are...
Right where I left you last i saw you, in your chair with that nothing expression of your face.
A needle in one hand and a small bottle in the other...

I step closer to you... wanting to speak but having nothing to say...
Kneeling down before you, I carefully take the needle and bottle out of your hands and set them on the ground.
I shake my head as I feel tears welling up in my heart...
And only one word escapes...
“Why?”
And I start crying... I know you didn’t have to do this again, you decided to.

There’s always a choice... Even so... I still understand...
I do it too...

My posture slumps as I start weeping harder, I wrap my arms around my waist because it feels as though I’m going to fall apart.
“I... I do it too... not the way you do but I guess I am no better”
I look down at the floor, my sobs becoming uncontrollable and the ball of panic in my throat about ready to burst.
I’m not breathing am I?
Under gasping of my breaths... I call to my friends as strongly as I can.
My vision starts to blur as it gets harder and harder to catch a breath.
I feel my head start to become lighter and my limbs getting heavier, and I hear my friends rush in and call my name in alarm.
Someone's arms wrap around mine and get me to my feet, time starts speeding around me...
Someone’s trying to talk to you and ask you what’s wrong and why I’m crying...
But you say nothing... and you do nothing...
The space is panicked but I’m in a different place... Everything speeding but I’m moving slowly as I take a pencil and paper out of my pocket and carefully write something down...
I drop the paper by your feet and my body falls limp, I can hear everyone panicking and I can hear myself gasping for a breath.
And before everything goes black and silent I hear your voice... finally...

Left by your feet... is a small piece of paper with messy hand writing that reads “With every flaw there is hope. With every down there is an up.”